Mac and Stella
by Anna1988
Summary: Happy family
1. The beginning

Thinking back

Stella Bonasera and Mac Taylor have been married 22 years and have 6 children. Haily Stella, born in June 1994, Amber Sienna born in March 1996, Ian Mackenzie born in April 1998, Fiona Aiden born in September 2000, Nathan Daniel born in May 2003 and Chloe Darlene bron in June 2006.

After being with the military until 1984 and after studying during that time he went to become a CSI in New York. He is a guy who pretty much keeps to himself and does not want to show when he is sad or when there is something that is bothering her.

Now he is the head of the CSI lab since 2000. He is happily married but he always made sure that his wife and children are happy. He would do everything he can to see his wife happy and without worried.

Stella Bonasera was a young detective who had studied and wanted to becoma a CSI when she met her future husband in 1985 and became his partner at the New York CSI office. She grew up in an orphanage until she was six in 1968. In that year the Ryan´s took her in as their foster daughter and at that time she had a 2 year old foster sister, Sienna. She, her sister and her parents became a real family. A happy family.

When she met Mac ste still had trust issues as a result of her time in the orphanage. But she hardly has them anymore. She was a happy part-time working mother of six and would not be happier.

On the other side there were also times that were dark during her marriage. The weeks when her beloved mother Fiona was dying while she was pregnant with Fiona Aiden in 2000. And when her father Nathan died 2002. She really adored and admired both of her parents. Her mother, aside from her sister, was her best friend. She was a total mess after both deaths, for weeks.

Aside from those incidents and the death of Mac´s father in 1997 and Aiden´s death in 2006 they were happy. Mac always knows how to make her laugh and how to make her anxiety go away.

He had always been there when she needed him. He was her hero. When she had mood swings during the pregnancies or after tough cases or when her parents died, he was never mad at her when she had lost it infront of him. He had always made her feel loved and wanted. Everytime when she thought something was her fault he always assured her that it was not her fault. She did not know what she would do without him. And how she would have survived the hard times without him.

When Mac thought back at the dark parts of their marriage it still broke his heart when he remembered how much she had suffered during each childbirth. An how much she had suffered when her parents and Aiden died. He also remembered very clearly how much Stella suffered with her sister Sienna, who had been diagnosed with Blood cancer in 1996, 1998 and 2001. She had also been diagnosed with Breast cancer in 2004 and 2006. Stella always thought that she had to protect her family.

Today

They were just returning home from work. Mac was not going back to work, bacuse it was friday. The kids would be home from School around 3 p.m.. Chloe and Nathan were takeing their nap after kindergarden.

Stella was in the kitchen preparing lunch when Mac walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She leaned into him the way she only did when something was bugging her or she was not feeling well. "Sweetheart are you alright?" As she was about to answer Haily, Amber, Ian and Fiona came home from the Waldorf School they were attending. The Little ones were going to kindergarden there, too.

"Mac we will talk later." "Alright." He kissed her check and helped her get the lunch table ready. The kids helped, too. After they finished eating the kids started doing their homework at the dining-room table as usual. Stella went to help Mac in the kitchen and said. "Honey if you do not mind I am going to lie down a bit." "Go ahead. Are yopu alright?" "No. Not really. I just want some rest." "You know where I am." "I know Mac. Thank you. Later. I am too exhausted and confused right now." "Alright. I will take care of the children."

Stella went up to the bedroom. Mac went to help the kids with homework.

After the kids finished doing their homework they went outside to play. All six of them. He decided to go upstairs to check on his wife. He went into the bedroom and found her standing in front of the window watching the kids. Her back was to the door but did not need her to look at him to know that she was crying. He walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She turned around in his arms and just cried into his chest. He did not know what the matter was but he would find out in time. He let her cry because he knew that it would help her.

After she has calms down a bit she pulls away from him and said. "Let us go to the porch." "Sure." He led her to the porch where both sat down on the bench. "Look at the kids Mac. They are playing together so nicely. All of them." "They are honey. He pulled her into an embrace. She snuggled into him. He knew better then to push her."

"Sienna came to my office today." "Why?" "She had a doctors appointment today." She had to swallow hard. "She has cancer again." Mac pulled her into a tighter hug. "Stella it is going to be alright." "No!" "Why not?" "The breast cancer is back and it has spread. It was detected too late. She is dying Mac! She is dying Mac!" She now had tears streaming down her face but it did not bother Mac that his shirt was getting wet. She buried her face in the crock of his neck. He stroked her back to try to calm her down and said soothing words, but it hardly helped any.

The kids were still playing in the back yard and their Golden Retriever Luna was sitting at Stella´s feet. It was their second dog. Their first Golden Retriever Lilli had died in 2001. Mac had given Lilli to Stella as a engagement gift in 1986.

Mac noticed that Stella started to calm down and led her up to the bedroom. "Stella why don´t I do a bath for you to relax. After that I want you to lie down and rest. I will take care of the kids and put them to bed. OK?" "Thank you." He pulled her into a hug again. She rested her head on his shoulder again and let out a sigh. It did not bother him that his shoulder was tear soaked. His main concern was to get his wife through this tough situation. He also knew that it was the same like back in 2000 when her mother died of breast cancer.

While Stella was in the tub he took care of the children and brought them to bed. Around nine thirty the little ones were sleeping and the bigger ones were in there rooms and ready or were already sleeping. Haily came into her mother´s room, to say goodnight. Stella sat up in bed against the headrest. When she saw the tears in Stella´s eyes she asked. "Are you alright mom?" Mac walked in that moment. Stella looked at him and he could see that she was not able to talk at the moment. "Haily your mother is going through a tough time. Give her time." "Ok. Dad take good care of her." "I will. Now go to bed. Goodnight!" "Night mom and dad."

After Haily left the room Mac sat down on the bed next to her. Stella looked up at him. Mac could see the sadness, worry, hurt, pain, tiredness, fear and weakness in her eyes. He saw that she was needy. She needed him. Not in a sexual way. He moved forward and was now face to face with her. She leaned into his chest without a word. He wrapped his arms around her and just let her fell his body. She needed to feel his body and his embrace. She did not cry. She just leaned into him for support. She needed his support to be able to talk again. At the moment she was unable to talk to her.

A few minutes later Stella leaned back against the headrest. Her hands gripping Mac´s hands. He was drawing circles on her palms with his thumbs. "We have to tell the kids Mac." "We will relax." He could see that she was in no state to talk to the kids. "I will tell them Stella." "Thank you Mac. It is so unfair. Mom died of breast cancer and now Sienna is dying of breast cancer too." "Stella I know. I was there. We are in this together alright? You are not alone." "Thank you Mac. She is my sister." She was now looking at their tangeled hands. Mac put a hand under her chin and made her look at him. "Sweetheart she will always be her sister. No matter what." "I know."

"She wants to die at home with her family. She quit her appartment. I told her she could spend the rest of her time here. If that is alright with you Mac. I am sorry I did not ask you this morning. I just could not say no." She looked at her lap again. Mac put a hadn under her chin and made her look at him. "Sweetheart. You do not have to apologize. She is your sister and needs us. Of course she can live with us during the rest of her time." "Thank you Mac." "It is alright Stella."

He pulls Stella into him to comfort her. After a while she falls asleep in his arms. He lais down with her in his arms. Holding her tightly to comfort her.


	2. A few weeks later

A few weeks later

The last few weeks were hard on Stella. The kids knew by now what was going on. They kids seemed to cope with it. Sienna was now living with them ans was getting no more therapy.´She was takeing morphine when the pain was bad. Stella had taken a leave of absence and Nathan and Chloe were now in Kindergarden the whole day. Even the bigger children came home later now, because they were going to stay at the afternoon programm of the school. Mac came by twice a day to look after Stella and Sienna and sometimes he came home at noon and did not return to work.

Stella and Sienna are talking on the couch. "It is so unfair Sienna. Mom and you. Dad died to early too." "Stella listen to me. We were your family and we still are your family. You cannot prevent bad things from happaning. I am happy that I survived all my cancer diagnosis since 1996. I had a good and happy life. There is nothing I can do Stella. I want you to remember me as a happy laughing woman. I want you to remember me as your laughing sister." Mac entered the house during the last few sentences. He had worked part-time today.

"Sienna you cannot give up. You have to fight." Stella is crying and had tears streaming down her face. Mac sits down on the armrest next to her and pulls her into a hug. He kisses her temple. " Stella it is too late to fight. I just want to enjoy the rest of the time with you."

Stella was still crying into Mac´s chest. He knows that it is hard on Stella but that it must be hard on Sienna too.

"Mac please do something." "Sweetheart your sister is right. There is nothing she can do." She was crying even more now. Stella soon cries herself to sleep and Mac carried her to bed.

He then sat down on the couch with Sienna. "I am worried about her Mac. I have hardly ever seen her like that." "I know I have seen her like that when your parents, our friend Aiden and our dog died. She just never showed it in public."

"The last times I have seen her like that were when our grandparents died in 1975, 1983, 1981 and 1979. She also was a mess when our dogs died in 1970, 1977 and 1985. But it was never as bas as now. I am really worried Mac. Why did she never show it?"

"She only cries when we are at home and the kids cannot see it."

"I see but Mac I am really worried about her. I want her to be happy. I want her to somehow be able to enjoy the rest of my time." "Sienna I know that you want her to enjoy the rest of the time and that you want her to be happy. But I know that it will not be easy for her and that she will cry many more tears. You are the rest of the family. She needs time."

"I know. Mac I need you to promise me that you will never leave her and that you will be there for her when I am leaving and when I am gone."

"Sienna I would never leave her. I love Stella. Do not worry she will not be alone. I will always be here at her side. I promise you that." "Thank you Mac."

"Mac why is there music plaing?" "I always turn music on when Stella is out of it or is not feeling well. It calms her down. She needs it." "I see. Se never did that at home." "I came up with that idea shortly after our wedding. We were working on a case in July 1987 when we were shot at. Stella worked patrol before joining the CSI. She was upset and rattled. That is when I came up with the idea. I always did since then. It always helped. It is always Beethoven. She likes that music." "I know. Poor Stella. I hope she will recover." "I will do anything in my power to make that happen Sienna." "I know Mac."

Around three in the afternoon Mac goes to check Stella. He enters the bedroom and sees her sitting in the bed looking at a picture of the family. It was taken at Chloe´s baptism in January 2007. On it were Mac, Stella all the six children and Sienna. She looked up at him as he sat down on the bed. She held it to her chest. Mac moved closer to her and pulled her into his chest. She cried and he just let her. When her tears subsided she asked. "Where are the kids?" "Danny and Lindsey have the kids. I figured it would be better that way." "In this situation it is hard to have them hear. I do not want the kids to see everything." "I know." She pulled back from his chest and theys kissed. He then helped her out of bed and he helped her freshen up.

A few minutes öater they walked into the livingroom together, Mac leading her. One arm around her shoulder and the other holding her hands. "Hey Sienna!" "Hey Stella! Are you feeling better?" "A little thanks to Mac´s music." Mac and Stella sit down on the couch across from Sienna. Mac and Sienna hoped that Stella would be able to cope with it.


	3. Two months later

Two months later

The kids were at Lindsey and Danny´s haouse. Sienna was dying. Stella and Mac had talked to the bigger children and they agreed to stay at the Messer house while she was dying.

Mac and Stella were sitting at her bed holding her ands and holding each others hand. They continued to give her morphine to ease the pain. Mac could see that it is hard for Stells to see her sister die just like their mother had died. Both of them knew that she only had a few hours to a day to live. The doctor and the nurse had left the house.

A few hours later Stella way lying next to her in the bed and Mac was still holding Sienna´s and Stella´s hans. He could see the hurt and sadness in her eyes. It hurt him to see her so much pain and so sad. Sienna by now was barely awake. She was more in some kind of sleep.

A moment later Stella sat up and said. "Mac do something to end her suffering." "Stella you cannot kill her." She walke up to her and he pulled her into a hug and let her cry. She gave her sister a nother dose of morphine for the pain. A few minutes later Sienna died surrounded by Mac and Stella.

Stella and Mac folded her hands and shut her eyes and stayes with her for another hew hours. During that time Mac had called Sienna´s fridns from the list she had given him a few weeks ago. When they arrived they said their condolences to Mac and Stella and then they said good-bye to Sienna. A little later the team and the kids came and said good-bye to Sienna. In the evening Lindsey, Danny and the Tylor kids returned to the Messer houzse. After they left Stella slowly let down her guard. Mac led her to the couch where she cried frealy into his chest. He gave her allthe time she needed.

The next morning the coroner picked up Sienna. Stella had a hard time letting them take her. She totally broke down and Mac brought her to the bed and turned the music on. He watched as the coroner took Sienna. Stella was in no state to be there. She was to weak from crying and was not able to hold on. When the coroner had left Mac checked on his wife. She was sitting on the bed faceing the door. When Mac entered the bedroom she walked up to him and he pulled her intor him. She rested her head on his shoulder.

A few minutes later she said. "I have to plan the funeral. Mac I need to plan the funeral." "Shh." She was crying again. "You need to get some rest sweetheart. We will plan the funeral after that." She nodded in agreement and clung to him. He led her to the bed and he lay down with her in his arms.

After a few minutes she was sound asleep. He got up and called the cemetary from the livingroom. He made sure that Sienna would be put to rest next to her parents and her four grandparents in the family grave. He also made an announcement in the newspaper and told the hospital staff who took care of Sienna, her friends and the team when the funeral would be. He also made sure that they do not want flowers or money to take care of the grave. They would collect money for cancer research.

They next day they went to the lawyer to open her will. It said:

"Dear Stella! Dear Mac,

I wish that my savings account of $ 300.000 will be donated to cancer research. I also wish that my other savings account of $ 180.000 will be donated to the homeless organisation.

In my safety deposti bax are a locket and seven photoalmubs for Stella.

Mac please keep the promise you gave me.

Your Sienna"

After that they went to the bank and donated the money and the also donated the money from Sienna´s credit card to the homeless organisation and dnoated some of their own money to both cancer research and the homeless organisation. They also collected the locket and the albums.

When they came back home Stella and Mac looked at the albums, which were in a box with a letter.

"Dear Stelly,

you always wanted pictured of our parents and grandparents. Take a look in the albums and enjoy it.

Your sister Sienna"

She and Mac slowly opened the box and took out the seven albums. They slowly upened the first one. One the first page she read.

"This is a photoalbum of Daniel Miller 1905-1975"

She slowly opened them one by one and read.

"This is a photoalbum of Sienna Miller 1913-1983"

"This is a photoalbum of Patrick Ryan 1909-1981"

"This is a photoalbum of Darlene Marie Ryan 1912-1979"

"This is a photoalbum of Fiona Ryan 1940-2000"

"This is a photoalbum of Nathan Ryan 1934-2002"

She had tears in her eyes the whole time.

When she opened the last one she xould not hold back her tears anymore and she read:

"This is a photoalbum of Sienna Ryan 1966-2009"

She now had tears straming down her cheeks. "Thank you Sienna." Mac who was sitting next to her on the couch pulled her into a hug. She just cried against his chest. When cried herself to sleep he carried her to bed.

After the funeral two days later they went to the bank and donated the collected money to cancer research. The Mac, Stella and the kids returned home.

Stella went to take a nap while Mac took care of the kids. When they were in bed that evening Stella said. "What promise are you supposed to keep Mac?" "She made me promise that I would never leave you that I would be there for you when she is leaving and when she is gone. I intend to keep that promise Stella." "I kno Mac. I love you." "I love you too Stella." "Mac do not let me go." He could hear the fear in her voice. "Relax I am here with you and I do not plan on going anywhere."


	4. August 2009

August 2009

It had been about a month since Sienna had passed away. Stella and Mac had both taken a leave of absence. Stella had lost way to much weight, like she always did when someone from her family passed away. She was also fearful and easy to panic. Sienna had been her best friend and they had shared everything and talked about everything. Sienna had always been there for her and Stella had always been there for Sienna. Mac was starting to worry about her. He knew that she had loved her family and her sister but he also knew that she and her sister had had a very tight and special bond. She barely ate and had sleeping problems.

While Mac was preparing dinner and Stella was on the porch with watching the children play, their 15 year old daughter Haily came to him. "Dad!" "Hey Haily!" "Dad I need to talk to you." He and Haily sat down at the kitchen table. "Alright." "Dad tell me the truth. Is mom alright?" Mac was surprised to hear that question but he knew that it would come earlier or later because she was already 15.

"Haily your mom is still grieving. She is grieving badly but she will be alright." "Dad. How was she when she was grieving after her grandparents and her parents died?" "Haily. When her grandparents died I did not know her yet but Sienna told me it was bad. When her parents died you were little and it was bad, too. Believe me she will be alright." "I hope so. Please take good care of her." "I will. Come here." Haily walked around the table to him and Mac wrapped her into a hug. "Haily I love your mom. I give you my word that she will be alright. Now go play and take care of you younger brothers and sisters. I think I need to talk to your mom." "Thank you."

Mac went to join Stella on the porch while Haily went outside. "Hey!" He wrapped ana arm around her and pulled her into his chest. "They are growing Mac up." "I know." He kissed her temple. "Honey how about I go get you a little piece of cake that Haily baked. I think she would be sad if you do not eat a piece." She shook her head no. "Come here." He pulled her into his chest and just let her rest.

When the kids were in bed and they were sitting on their bed Haily entered their bedroom. "Haily." "Hey!" Dad, could I talk to mom alone for a minute." Mac looked at Stella questioningly. "It is alright Mac." Mac left his wife and their oldest daughter alone and went to check on their other children. "Mom, talk to me." "About what young lady?" "Mom I talked to dad earlier in the kitchen. I know what is going on." "Haily I am alright. The only thing that is wrong is that I am tired. Honey I assure you that I am alright. Now go to bed sweetie." "Fine." Stella knew that her daughter just wanted to help her but she did not want to put that weight on their daughter.

Haily ran into her father on the hall. "Are you alright?" "Yeah but mom is not even if she told me she was alright." "Do not worry." "Alright. Goodnight dad." "Goodnight Haily." He re-entered their bedroom and joined his wife on their bed and let her rest against his chest. "Haily is worried about you honey." "I know Mac." He kissed her temple and stroked her back. "Honey I am worried, too. I brought you a piece of Haily´s cake. You did not eat any dinner or anything else today. Please just a little bit." Stella pulled back a little. "Mac I cannot keep anything down right now. It is too painful."

Mac reached for the plate and broke of a very little piece of cake. "Stella just one little bite. Please for Haily." "Alright." Stella ate the little bit of cake and hoped that she would not through up again. She was happy when she knew that she would not have to through up the cake. At least a little improvement.

About a weeka later Mac found her on their bed in state he did not like. She was lying crumpled together, with a tear stained face, tears running down her face, shaking and she seemed to be in an other world not acknowleding him. He called 911 and then he called Danny and Lindsey to pick up the kids. He sat down next to her on their bed while doing that. "Stella it will be alright." He stroked her back.

When the ambulance arrived Mac rode next to her in it holding her hand never leaving her side and always talking to her. "Honey you will be alright. I promise you that. I am right here honey."

At the hospital she was brought to the exam room and checked out. After that the doctor talked to her. "Hey Mac!" "Hello Doctor Sarah Maiers." She was Stella´s doctor who was present during every time Stella gave birth and has been called to the emergency room on Mac´s wish. She is also a good friend of Stella and knows about the current situation. "Mac I sedated her and she is sleeping right now. I had a nurse bring her to my station so I can have an eye on her and so she is not so alone." "Thank you Sarah. Will she be alright?"

"Mac she has been through hell." "Sarah she does not eat or barely eat, she has sleeping problems." "Oh my God. I think I will put an IV on her." "Thanks." "Come with me to my station so you can visit her." "Alright." Mac followed the doctor worried about Stella.

When he entered her room he was happy to see her sleeping but he was also mad at himself that he was not able to prevent it from happening. He sat down and held her hand. "I am right here Stella. Get some rest and when you wake up I will be right here."

When Mac went to do a few calls on the hall he ran into Haily. "What are you doing here?" "I want to visit mom." "Haily she is sleeping right now. They sedated her. She will be alright. I will call Danny to pick you up." "Dad no. I am staying right here. I am a big girl. We will both stay here. Tell Danny that I am staying here." "Haily you will go back to Danny´s and Lindsey´s house they need your help with your siblings. Besides they have three kids of their own." "Dad I am staying." Mac did not want to argue with her and called Danny.

The next morning when Stella woke up she saw Haily and Mac sitting at next to her on either side. "Hey!" Mac lifted his head to look at her and so did Haily. "Do not ever scare us like this again." "I am sorry." "The most important thing is that you get well again mom." "I know Haily. How long have you been here?" "As long as dad has been here." "Go be with your sisters and brothers." "No. I am staying." Stella was surprised by Haily´s decision, but she definitely did not want her here at the moment.

Stella looked at Mac "Mac!" he could see the pain in her eyes. "Stella she is just worried." "Haily you promised me that you would take care of your brothers and sisters and I expect you to keep that promise. Mac call Danny now." Mac knew better than to argue with Stella at the moment and called Danny. Then he and Haily went to the hallway to wait for Danny. "Haily you have to understand your mother. She is grieving and is scared. Your mother does not know how her future will be like. She just wants something to as it usually is." Haily looked at her father a little shocked. "I just want to help mom dad." "I know Haily and at the moment the best thing you can do is to help Lindsey and Danny by taking care of the kids who miss their aunt incredibly. The kids are heartbroken too Haily."

Now Haily looked down a little guilty because she knew that her father was right. Her brothers and sisters all loved their aunt. "Please Haily do not try to make this harder for her. She barely talks to me and I know that she is worried about the children." Haily sight deeply. "Alright dad I will go back to Danny´s house. Just promise me that you will help her. She needs help." "I will help her." He pulled her into a hug and held her tight.

Mac helped Stella sit up a little. "Mac I want to go home. Please do not make me stay in the hospital. It just brings back to much memories of Sienna." Stella had tears running down her checks now. She tried to hide them but Mac got up from the chair and sat down on the edge of the bed and wrapped his wife into a hug. He held her while she cried over her sister.

A moment later Dr. Sarah Maiers entered her room. Mac and Stella broke apart and Sarah walked to Stella and wrapped her into a hug. "Stella, please listen to Mac. He has your best interest at heart." "OK." Sarah pulled back. "If you need someone different to talk you know where I am." "Thank you." After Sarah left the room Mac sat down on the bed again. Mac wrapped his arms around Stella and hoped that she would be alright.

Two weeks after Stella had been able to come home again Mac was happy with her improvements and knew that she was on the road of recovery. She spent a lot of time with the kids trying to be happy and sometimes she is happy. She also talked a lot with Mac but she also cried with Mac. Stella had talked Mac into visiting the cemetery with her. On their way to the cemetery Mac was holding Stella´s hand trying to comfort her.

At the family grave of Stella´s family Mac and Stella put knew flowers in the vases and he then wrapped an arm around her and laid his other hand on her lower arm. She let the tears fall and laid her head on his shoulder. After a while she turned around and cried into Mac´s chest. He just held her and let her cry. After she had composed herself a little he led her to the car and they went home. When they came home Stella went to rest on their bed while Mac took care of the children. Mac knew that they were on the right way and that Stella will be the old one again someday.


	5. November 2009

November 2009

Mac had made sure that Stella would recover properly even if she tried to fight him more than once. By now she was herself again and was able to live a normal life again. Mac had put a lot of effort in her recovery and the new old Stella was enough reward for that.

While Mac and Stella were sitting on the deck watching their children her mind moved back to the hard times. "It is hard to believe that she is really gone and has been for almost three months." "I know sweetheart but she will always be your sister and you will never forget her." He tightened his hold on her and pulled her more tightly against his chest. She snuggled deeper into his chest. "You are right. We will never forget her and someday our children will learn about her Mac." "That is right." He kissed her temple and they watched their children knowing that they are a strong family and could overcome almost everything.


End file.
